I have to admit hearing this had me in stitches. It’s a polite request from the South African Police Service (SAPS) asking South Africans to give their dogs to the police and help improve security during the football World Cup.

If I were putting together the advert encouraging people to ‘give’ this is how I would phrase things.

If you are South African and you think your dog is destined for bigger and better things, not just running around in your backyard playing with his tail – donate him to your local police station. In a matter of weeks they’ll whip him into a lean, mean crime fighting machine.

Sought after canine qualities:

1) Cross breeds need not apply please. There is no room for junk or rejects. Police want and expect pedigree. Anything else is apparently just not good enough. Twenty six posts are available for Border Collies, German Shepherds, Cocker Spaniels, Labradors, Belgian Shepherds, Boxers, Bloodhounds and Rottweilers ONLY.

2) Your dog must be between nine months and three years old. No shy ones please – the police want to see confidence written all over the animal. Of course he must be people friendly and able to walk on a leash.

3) The police will test him in the comfort of your own home. If the dog doesn't make the cut you can keep him. Find other ways to get rid of him if you really can’t stand the sight of the animal. Accept the fact that perhaps he isn’t destined for greatness after all and you are stuck with him.

Saying goodbye

If your dog passes rigorous tests then he becomes police property. You cannot visit, call or send presents because your dog (which you incidentally tossed out of your house and gave away to the police like he meant nothing to you) will pretend he doesn’t know you.

Where’s the love?!

Deal with it because ‘he’s in the army now’ – well sort of. It’s an army of elite canines fighting crime on the streets of South Africa.

While you watch the beautiful game at home or in one of the newly built footballs stadiums, think of man’s best friend working round the clock to protect you during the World Cup.

He’ll be out patrolling crime infested streets, busting drug syndicates in dodgy neighbourhoods, chasing petty criminals down dark alleys, and finding explosives hidden in random places, just so you can have peace of mind supporting your favourite team.

And once the football extravaganza is over, your dog gets put on to the crime beat.

It’s certainly different – asking South Africans to part with their dogs to get one up on criminals. You never know, our canine friends could be the answer to South Africa’s crime problem.

Let's see.